Normal Again

I’m finally starting to feel somewhat normal again after starting to take the Effexor. A friend of mine from the support group has been taking Effexor for hot flashes for a few months now. She had mentioned that it caused insomnia for her so she took the medication in the morning so she could sleep better at night. I decided to take the Effexor in the morning too since insomnia didn’t appeal to me. Well, I’ve found out that the medication has the opposite affect on me; it reminds me of the near face plant experience that I had when I was taking sleeping pills back in February. Needless to say, now I take the drugs before bed. For the first few days I would be drowsy until about 3pm the next day! The last few days have been better. I guess it just takes some time for the body to adjust.

I’m back to the Cancer Clinic tomorrow for my Herceptin infusion. The appointment should only be about 2 hours instead of the 6-7 hours it took when I had to have chemo too. Yeah.

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Phase Two

Yesterday I found out that I will start my radiation treatments next Tuesday, October 3rd. I'll be getting 30 treatments so I'll be going to the hospital everyday, excluding the weekends, for the next 6 weeks.

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Yoga

I started taking Yoga classes yesterday at Wellspring. To my surprise, I actually found it to be relaxing. It was also nice to meet several breast cancer survivors and share experiences.

The Run for the Cure is almost one week away. I had hoped to be running most of it but my energy level hasn’t been great. It may take me a bit longer to walk to the finish line, but I’ll get there. Many thanks to those of you who have sponsored me. It’s not too late for those of you who are still thinking about it. The link is https://www.cibcrunforthecure.com. Click on ‘Donate to a Participant’, type my name and the run location of London.

Thanks again,
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Hot Flashes 101

Yesterday I had my appointment with the Hot Flash Clinic. For those of you who haven’t experienced the joys of hot flashes, here’s why doctors believe hot flashes occur. Hot flashes are likely caused by a decrease in estrogen which can occur with many cancer treatments. The decrease in estrogen affects the hypothalamus, which is the part of the brain that controls body temperature. When there is a decrease in estrogen, the brain thinks the body is too hot. The brain then produces a chemical to help cool the body which results in an increased heart rate, enlarged blood vessels in the skin to let heat escape and sweat to cool the skin. So, when the hot flash is done, you get the chills because you’ve been sweating. Hot flashed induced by chemotherapy are often more intense than if you had hot flashes with regular old menopause.

In clinical trials, doctors have found that the frequency of hot flashes can be reduced up to 80% with low dose anti-depressants. I’m not really excited about taking anti-depressants but at this point I’m so tired from not sleeping at night that I’m willing to try anything. The dose of Effexor I will be taking is 37.5 mg and the dose to treat actual depression is around 200 – 300mg. I’ll be keeping a ‘hot flash log’ for the next two days to get a baseline then I’ll start taking Effexor on Friday. It will likely take 2 or 3 weeks to kick in. I hope it works!

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Funny Cancer Moments

I just thought I’d share with you some of the funnier cancer moments I’ve had. As they say, laughter is the best medicine.

Now that my hair is starting to sprout, on a weekly basis Sean says to me, “Mom, I don’t want your hair to grow. I like your hair better bald.” I’ve tried to explain that mommy really wants hair again but Sean continues to protest.

I had a plumber do some work in the house last month, when I opened the door he said, “I like your haircut.” I’m not sure if he was just nervous and didn’t know what to say or if he was trying to be funny. I laughed anyway and told him I wasn’t bald by choice.

I got a phone call from a department store telling me I should buy extra insurance for my credit card. I would have an extra three year warranty on all purchases; my card balance would be paid for in the event of the death of my spouse; blah, blah, blah. Then she said, if I got cancer before the age of 70, they would pay the balance on my credit card. (When we moved into the house, we bought the new appliances on one of those ‘No interest for 24 months’ deals.) For a split second I thought I could get the appliances paid off! I started to laugh. I told her I had cancer. In a very stern voice she said, “That’s not funny.” It was to me. Anyway, I told her that even though I had cancer, we weren’t having any problems making our credit card payments. She ended the conversation pretty quickly.

There you go.

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Resume

I’m having one of my deep thoughts moments today so bear with me.

Being diagnosed with cancer can be a frightening experience. I will admit that, but, once you get past the initial shock and tests, it’s not so frightening anymore. You can’t live everyday being scared so you just have to keeping moving forward. There’s still laundry to do, meals to make, driving to hockey practices, swimming lessons, birthday parties, etc. Instead of going to UWO to work on financial statements, I stay at home and work on me…that’s my new job. Like any new job there are some anxieties but you learn to manage them. You meet lots of new people; you learn new things; and you get compensated. No, I’m not being paid to have cancer. It’s not about money; it’s about gaining a better perspective, a new appreciation of family, friends and life in general. When you’ve had to come face to face with your own mortality at the age of 36, you really understand all that ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff’ stuff.

Although this new job of taking care of myself will never end, I do feel that I should be entitled to put ‘Cancer Survivor’ on my resume under the section on Personal Accomplishments. (Attention all UWO employees – I am not working on my resume. I am not looking for a new job. This was done for effect only…I will be back.)

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Tattoos

This morning I had my CT Simulation appointment to get things prepared for radiation treatment. I met with a resident first then got changed and laid down on the CT machine where I was put into the position that I will be in for all the radiation appointments. We tried different head rests and arms rests out until they felt comfortable….yeah, right. There were four people involved in the process, one being a doctor who was obviously going through her own cancer treatments. They all took turns drawing on me and moving me on the machine then they would congregate in a closed room and watch me through the window as the machine passed over me. (Kind of like being moved through a donut that has a rotating middle.) It felt weird having everyone leave the room to watch behind safer quarters. When the machine was done, they would come out of the room and draw some more. When they were happy with the machine positioning, I had 5 tattoos put on me that will aid in the machine set-up for each radiation session. The remainder of the program set-up will take about a week and a half for the technicians. Sometime in the next two weeks, I will get a call for my first radiation appointment; I’m told it will likely be before the end of the month.

After my appointment I paid Colleen a surprise visit. It was great to sit and chat about things that only other cancers patients can appreciate and understand like ‘chemo brain’, hair/lack of hair issues, drugs, tattoos, sleep, etc., etc. I’m glad we have each other.
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Chemo Treatment 8 of 8

Done. Finishing the last chemo treatment has come with a sense of accomplishment and relief. The anxiety has slowly slipped away. When I talked to my oncologist on Thursday about my anxiety, she reminded me that I’d still be taking plenty of preventative drugs. I’ll still be going to the Cancer Centre every 3 weeks for Herceptin infusions until July 2007 and I’ll probably be on Tamoxifen, an oral hormone, for 5 years.

Next week starts the beginning of a new phase of treatment, radiation. On Tuesday I will be going to a Radiation Treatment Planning session. At the appointment they will be tattooing me so that the machine (http://www.lrcc.on.ca/general/tour-radtreatment.xml)can be lined up correctly and quickly each time I go for treatment. I’m not sure when my first radiation appointment will be but the oncologist said the treatments usually start after the chemo is out of my system, so around 3 or 4 weeks from now. I’m sure I’ll have more details to report next week.

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Security Blanket

Two more sleeps until my last chemo treatment. Although you would think this is an exciting time for me, I’m actually more anxious about this treatment than any other. For me the chemotherapy is like a security blanket, as long as the drugs keep doing their job, I feel safe. Without the drugs, I need to rely on my body’s defense system to keep me healthy. The scary thing is that 8 months ago, I was walking around feeling healthy but little did I know I had about 1 billion cancer cells in me (that’s the number of cancer cells the doctor said were in a tumor of my size – 1cm).

The other root of this anxiety comes from a solicitation letter from the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. The letter was written by a man who lost his wife to breast cancer. In a nutshell, his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, had a year and a half of treatments then was told she was cancer free. Two months later they found that the cancer had spread to her liver and lungs then she died shortly there after. So, you just never know…be thankful for every day you have.

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Thank you

The first thing Andrew said to me this morning was, “Can we have another Pink Party next year?” I know the kids had a great time and Steve and I did too.

This is the part where I give my ‘thank you’ speech. I won’t name names for fear of leaving someone out….here goes.

Thank you to those for coming from near and far. Thank you to those who couldn’t make it but sent their best wishes. Thank you to the set up crew, the serving crew and the clean-up crew. Thank you to those who brought food, flowers, wine, champagne, treats and other goodies. Thank you to those who sponsored me for my run. Thank you for making it a great day that I will never forget.

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