The Snake Lady

It’s been a busy few days. Andrew’s 7th birthday was on Wednesday, which was also the last day of school. Last night was Andrew’s birthday party. The ‘Snake Lady’ was the entertainment for the evening. She brought an assortment of creatures including turtles, snakes, a bullfrog, tarantulas, cockroaches and a millipede. Needless to say, they held the attention of 7 boys for a good hour and a half. All creatures coming into the house were accounted for on the Snake Lady’s departure.

Today Sean has gone on a field trip to Storybook Gardens and Andrew is at home playing with all his new things. I’m not used to having anyone home with me during the week so I had to make sure Andrew was occupied as I snuck a piece of leftover birthday cake at 9am this morning. Of course if he had of asked for a piece of cake at 9am I would probably have told him he couldn’t eat cake so early in the morning. Oh the power of being a parent.

me

Protest Continues

Day 2 – no head gear. In hindsight, it probably would have been wise to wear a hat outside tonight because the mosquitoes found my head to be an easy target.

me

Moisturizer

As I explained last night to Steve, who got the full blown “I’m tired” speech, I needed to be sad so I could be happy again. There were a few more tears this morning as I read the many e-mails in response to yesterday’s blog. I was reminded of the tremendous support that I have from family and friends. Thank you.

After reading the e-mails, I got ready to go the grocery store. I decided I would ban all head gear for the day. So instead of using my regular moisturizer on my head, I decided to get out the good stuff…some expensive moisturizer made in Paris. The noggin polished up quite nicely. As I headed out the door, my initial reaction was to bring a hat…just in case I chicken out. Then, I thought, “I’m not wearing a BLEEPing hat!” Despite my initial hesitation, the outing was fine but the trip through the frozen food isle was quicker than usual.

Still swimming,

me

I'm Tired

I used to think my life was somewhat boring; I’d love to have a boring old day now. I was fine with just seeing my doctor once a year…I’m tired of doctor’s appointments. I’m tired of being bald. I’m tired of not being able to work. I’m tired of reading books on cancer. I’m tired of searching for websites on cancer. I’m tired of wearing baseball hats. I’m tired of the port. I’m tired of the chemo. I’m tired of being tired. I'm tired of cancer.

Therapy session over.

me

Steve's Other Job

When I first started this blog, after I would write an entry, I would have Steve read it before I pushed the magic button to post it for all to see. I would sit back and watch his face to see his reaction. More importantly, Steve would correct all my grammar and spelling mistakes. (Remember, I’m a numbers person, not a words person.) Anyway, it is now rare that Steve and I have the time to coordinate the writing and the editing in the same night. When I ask Steve if he’s had a chance to read a recent post, he usually says, “Yes, you put 'their' instead of 'there' or you spelt something wrong.” Argh!!!!!!!! No matter how many times I read over an entry, my brain just reads what words should be there and not necessarily the words that are there. I also blame the drugs…that excuse comes in handy in a lot of situations…milk it while you can, right? So, when you see all the mistakes, know that the editor will get around to fixing them eventually.

me

Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just Me?

I’ve been introduced to the world of hot flashes. Yeah. In pre-menopausal women, chemotherapy can actually bring on menopause. I don’t know if that’s what’s happening to me now but it will be a topic of conversation at my next doctor’s appointment.

During the day, the hot flashes don’t bother me too much but at night it’s another story. It’s not the kind of heat that you can deal with by sticking your foot out from underneath the covers or by turning the pillow over for the cooler side; it’s like someone picked you up and dropped you beside a 1,000 degree pit of lava. The sensation usually starts from the head down. If I had any hair, I’d probably rip it out! I’m sure it only lasts a minute or two but it feels like forever.

Men have it so easy.

me

Blood Counts 101

Although my blood counts were at an acceptable level to have chemo last Friday, my counts were low. I had assumed that my counts would have been high because I was feeling great. I now know that there is not a direct correlation between the two.

There are several counts that the doctor checks before chemo and here is a lesson on the top four that they review.

White Blood Cells – White blood cells help protect against infection. An increase in WBC indicates that the body is fighting an infection. The normal range is 4.0 to 10.0. My counts have been 7.8, 9.9, 5.1 and 3.9.

Hemoglobin (Red Blood Cells) – Red blood cells carry oxygen from the lungs to the rest of the body. If your hemoglobin in too low, the body isn’t getting the oxygen it needs – aka anemia. The normal range is 115 – 160. My counts have been 132, 128, 125 and 122.

Platelets – Platelets aid in the stoppage of bleeding. If your platelets are too low, uncontrolled bleeding can be a problem. If your platelets are too high, there is a risk of blood clots. The normal range is 150 – 400. My counts have been 308, 355, 375 and 301.

Neutrophil – Neutrophil is a type of white blood cell that helps to kill and digest microorganisms. The normal range is 2.0 – 7.5. My counts have been 5, 7.4, 2.9 and 1.5.

As many of you have probably guessed, I have all of these counts charted out quite nicely in Excel. Yes, I have found another exciting use for Excel outside of work.

Many thanks to the Groves clan for understanding my no hugging and kissing policy on Sunday.

me

Chemo Treatment 4 of 8

We’re half way through chemo people. Goodbye Adriamycin and Cyclophoshamide. After tomorrow I will also be done with Ondansetron, which is used to prevent nausea and vomiting. I received a briefing on the next four rounds which consist of two different drugs, Herceptin and Taxol. The first doses will be given a day apart so if I have any reactions to the drugs, they’ll know which drug is the culprit. For the three rounds after that, the drugs will be given together. Herceptin is the drug that I will continue to take every three weeks for a year. The Taxol has a lot of pre-med drugs associated with it, like 20 dexamethasone pills over a two day period! This is a steroid that helps with pain and tissue swelling. Needless to say, I’ll be wired for those two days.

Last night I decided to attend the luminary lighting at the Canadian Cancer Society Relay for Life. Thank you to Rosie who purchased luminaries for Colleen and me. Steve and I found them appropriately side by side. Also a big thank you to Steve’s Aunt Suzi who came over on a moments notice to babysit Andrew and Sean. It was quite overwhelming to see the hundreds of luminaries lining the track at TD Waterhouse Stadium at UWO. It wasn’t a good to time forget Kleenex! It actually looked like quite a fun event; hopefully we will be able to participate next year.



Thanks again to everyone,
me

Scheduled Power Outage

I think I've got the pre-chemo routine down to a 'T' now. It's like preparing for a power outage every three weeks but it's just my power outage while the rest of the world continues on.

1. Check the calendar to see what birthday parties or other events are coming up in the next week and buy gifts, cards etc.
2. Figure out what recipes for Barb to make on Monday and buy groceries (don't forget two bags of milk).
3. Clean the house.
4. Pack knapsack for trip to Cancer Clinic. Include binder, iPod, magazines, snacks, water and DVD of choice.
5. Put Emla cream on to freeze port site. Bring drugs.

Today's power outage is scheduled for 1:45pm.

me

Support Group Revisited

Today was the second meeting of the support group. I am happy to report that today’s meeting was more along the lines of what I expected from the group. It was more about information sharing than feelings. Colleen and I still had a few moments where we knew that it was best not to look at each other. We’ll see what meeting #3 brings us next week.

Someone has asked if I knew that the tentative September 2nd date for the party fell on the long weekend. I chose that date for a two reasons. I figured most people would be back from summer vacation (I realize that some people may be getting in their last hurrah that weekend before school starts up again). But the main reason is that it is the weekend before my last chemo treatment. When we’re looking at doing anything requiring interaction with lots of people and energy, we choose the weekend before a chemo treatment, because that is when my blood counts will be up and when I have the most energy. It really limits the dates from which I can choose.

Talk to you later,
me

Dr. Evil and Mini-Me

This morning I went to a store that sold various hats, scarves, wigs and handkerchiefs. I tend to wear baseball hats wherever I go and decided to get something new. I find that when I wear a baseball hat for long periods of time, when I take the hat off, my head looks like a baseball because you can see the indent of the stitching from the hat all over my head. My cousin is getting married next month and although I have a nice selection of baseball hats, it’s probably not an appropriate thing to wear to the wedding. My mom says I should just go bald…we’ll see. Anyway, back to the store. The woman in the store kindly showed me where the hats were and sat me down in front of a mirror. I had a handkerchief in mind …she had a turban in mind. “Just let me try it on you,” she said. So I sat there while she kept winding this thing around and around my head. I politely explained that it wasn’t the look I was going for and managed to untangle all the material off my head. In the end, I found a ‘Hope Cap’ which is basically a fitted handkerchief. A woman makes them and donates a portion of the proceeds to Breast Cancer research. Hopefully it will do the trick.

Okay, so Steve just walked in the room and read this then asked where I had put the new handkerchief. He picked it up and put it on me backwards (although he probably thought it was the right way). As soon as he started laughing I knew what he was thinking…I looked like Dr. Evil and Mini-Me from Austin Powers in Goldmember when they sing “Hard Knock Life” in the jail. It’s a good thing that we both have the same sense of humour.



me

"I Didn't Know That Kim Golfed?"

Today I played in the Peggy Collins Memorial Golf Tournament. (I know you’re saying, “I didn’t know that Kim golfed?” Well, I don’t. Today was my first time playing golf.) Peggy worked at the university, and she passed away from ovarian cancer several years ago. Proceeds from the tournament will benefit Ovarian Cancer research at the London Regional Cancer Program.

It was a ‘best ball’ tournament, which is good because if it was a ‘hit your own ball’ tournament, I’d probably still be out on the course. I am proud to say that our team used 3 or 4 of my drives and a few other shots here and there. Our team won the coveted title of “Most Honest Team” (aka Last Place Team). Thank you to Sandra who kept checking to see if my arm was okay. It actually didn’t bother me too much. It only hurts when I straighten my arm which I guess you’re supposed to do when you swing but I’ve made up my own technique. All in all the day was good fun…dare I say that golf is a sport that I might actually take up one day? Many thanks to Andrea for letting me borrow her clubs (I only lost 2 of your balls and I will replace them). Lastly, thanks to Sandra, Allen and Deanne for a great day.

Time to crash,
me

Pink Party - Tentative Date

Shortly after I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I had my mind set on having a party when the treatments where finished. Originally, I thought that this would happen at the end of the summer so I’ve always envisioned an outdoor party. Well, I now know that my last chemo treatment will be in mid-September and my radiation treatments will take me through to the end of November. Not a great time of year for an outdoor party. I’ve decided to have a party at the end of the summer anyway to celebrate just being here and how far I’ve made it through the treatments. So, mark your calendars – in pencil – for Sat. September 2nd. Everyone is welcome. Closer to the date, I’ll send out another note to confirm the date and to get people to e-mail me if they plan on coming. I’m not sure if I should expect 10 people or 210 people. So go find yourself something pink to wear. You have 3 months…no excuses.

me

Show and Tell

Yesterday when I got to the daycare to pick up Sean, he was sitting down having a snack with the rest of his classmates. I came into his class and bent down beside the table where he was sitting. Sean then proceeded to pull back the opening of my shirt to reveal the scar from my port. As he did, he said, "Hey everybody, look at this." How nice to be part of show and tell.

I've had several people ask to see the port. I guess what I failed to explain is that you can't see the port because it was put under my skin. All you can see is a scar...sorry, no visible Bonic Woman gadgets. When I have chemo or bloodwork, the nurse feels for the middle of the port and that's where she sticks the needle in. The port has a rubber dome that the needle goes through; it also has a metal backing so the nurse knows when to stop pushing the needle in. In between the rubber dome and the metal back is a resevoir that is hooked into a vein that allows them to draw blood. Because I could technically set off a metal detector now, I have a Medical Alert card to carry with me in case I set off any alarms. Hmmm...sounds like something fun to put on my to do list.

me

What Drugs Are You On?

Today Colleen and I went to our first support group meeting. There were 4 other women with breast cancer there plus a facilitator. The room was set up much like someone’s living room. I had a feeling that maybe this wasn’t going to be for me as soon as the facilitator started. She said that she likes to have someone light a candle at the beginning of each meeting…something about having a small light during what can be a time of darkness. Ok, I don’t mean to be disrespectful but I almost turned to Colleen to ask when they were going to bring the Ouiji board out but I knew if I made eye contact with her, I would burst out laughing.

The meeting then went into introductions and then focused on feelings. We were paired up for four minute conversations with each person and were given topics to discuss i.e. What are you afraid of? What do you need? How has the diagnosis changed your life? I can see this forum as being very beneficial for some of the women in the group because they feel that they can’t express their true feelings to their friends and family. I, on the other hand, really haven’t held anything back from anyone so I didn’t feel that that part of the meeting was very beneficial for me. At the end of the meeting, the facilitator had everyone stand together around the candle then had someone blow it out. Again, no eye contact with Colleen.

I guess I was hoping for more conversations like, What drugs are you on? What kind of tumor did you have? Who’s your oncologist? How are your kids coping? Maybe we’ll get there. I’ve decided to give the group another try next week.

me

For The Coffee Club...

As I was lying in bed this morning, I was thinking that I must get up and write something for the ‘Coffee Club’.

Yesterday I had an appointment with my family doctor to check out my right arm. Over the past 5 or 6 days, I’ve been loosing the range of motion in that arm (surgery side). My arm feels like its bruised and when I try to straighten it, I feel like I’m going to pass out. My concern was that it was lymphedema, which occurs in approximately 4% of people who have axcillary node dissections. Basically it’s an accumulation of lymphatic fluid caused when lymph nodes are removed. (If you have a plumbing system and you take out some of the pipes, when the same amount of water tries to go through the system, it slows down and gets backed up.) Anyway, it can be permanent and it’s not nice. The doctor said that it wasn’t lymphedema; some how I have inflamed the tendon in my arm. Hopefully in a week or so, it should be back to normal.

There’s your fix for today,

me

Brian's Landscaping

This past weekend, we, or I should say, my dad, built a garden at the front of the house. For those who know my dad, you know that he has a green thumb. Steve, Andrew, Sean and I simply followed my dad’s directions on where to dig the holes and what plants to put in the holes. I think Sean probably knows the names of more of the plants than I do. We are very happy with the end result and so was our neighbour Moira who decided to make a sign for all of my dad’s efforts. My dad had a good laugh this morning when he came to pick up Sean.

Enjoying the garden,

me

Turn Around

I think today was the turn around point for my engery level. Basically after a chemo treatment, my engery takes a nose dive for a about a week then it slowly starts to build up in time for the next round. I never realized how tired I would be of being tired. It's incredibly frustrating for me since I'm used to being on the go all the time. At an earlier appointment, the nurse pointed out that frustration over the lack of energy is very common. I guess I'm normal then.

I had Rosemary from work e-mail me an Excel file the other day so I can work on a report. When I opened the file, it was like my brain turned on again after all these months. I was almost drooling when I looked at all the numbers and formulas! The life of an accountant...

I am happy to report that my friend Colleen had her surgery yesterday and is doing well at home getting acquainted with her "squeeze box".

My best to you all,

me